The New Dreaming Podcast
The New Dreaming is more than just a podcast - it’s a truth-telling movement. A space for real, meaningful conversations that empower, challenge and inspire. Through the voices of those who have broken barriers, found their purpose and reclaimed their stories, - we uncover the truths that shape who we are.
For those ready to listen, learn and be part of something bigger - each episode is a step towards truth, healing and collective empowerment.
The New Dreaming Podcast
Finding Light in Darkness: A Writer's Journey Through Mental Health
Josh Beckett opens his heart in this raw, unfiltered conversation about trauma, mental health and the healing power of creative expression.
A Waka Waka and Yuggera man balancing work in the federal government with his passion for screenwriting and poetry, Josh shares the story of losing his Aboriginal father just before his ninth birthday - a loss that disconnected him from his culture and sent him spiraling into substance abuse.
With unflinching honesty, Josh recounts his suicide attempt at age 16, when "the rope broke" in what he calls possible divine intervention. This dark period became the catalyst for his writing journey as he emphasises how creative expression saved his life.
The conversation takes us through Josh's reconnection with Aboriginal culture through his work at Screen Queensland, marking his first significant community connection since his father's death. Now raising a two-year-old son and celebrating six weeks of sobriety - his longest streak ever - Josh shares practical wisdom for aspiring writers and anyone struggling with mental health challenges.
His advice cuts through typical writing guidance: simplify your story to its essence, wait until you're halfway through before seeking feedback, and reject the concept of writer's block entirely. "Go write poetry, go write longhand... continuously write and it doesn't matter what format and it doesn't matter how bad it is," he insists.
Perhaps most importantly, Josh reminds us that healing isn't about perfection but persistence: "One step in front of the other, one foot in front of the other and just trying to keep it together." For creative souls battling inner demons, his message resonates deeply: "You do art for yourself first, not for people outside."
Listen now to this powerful conversation about vulnerability, truth-telling and finding light in darkness - even when that means just putting one foot in front of the other.
Josh, welcome to the podcast. Thanks for having me on man.
Speaker 2:You're very welcome. So let's start with your mob, where you're from and a little bit about what you do.
Speaker 1:So my mob is Waka Waka and recently Yagura Yurupo, a native title, and I can never say this word right, but it's anthro-lapodical. Even bones that one proven that my great uncle, george Becker, was a tracker for the police. So yeah, it's learned that way.
Speaker 2:So you just want to start with the flex straight up Straight up. Well played.
Speaker 1:But yeah, man, so you know, go through native title and we'll figure that out in 10 years maybe.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, let's talk about you, know what you do.
Speaker 1:So right now I'm working as federal government. You know you've got to pay the bills and everything Got a two-year-old so someone has to feed him. But on the side it's screenwriting and recently poetry, mostly sonnets.
Speaker 2:Well done, yeah, so we go back. We met in 2017. We did Film school. We did I was acting, you were writing, and we've sort of nurtured a friendship from there and worked in creative aspects. So let's delve straight into the writing. Take me back, let's talk about your childhood a little bit, but I want to understand where you first fell in love with story.
Speaker 1:Well, depends on how deep you want to go. Deep, deep, let's go, we're going deep, rightio. Well, so I remember I don't remember too much up until the age of seven. Then my mother and father broke up so my father is where I get my Aboriginal heritage from and then, single mum, she'd done her best and one month before my ninth birthday my father passed away. So that was pretty hardcore. And then after that it was um, it's going through the motions of a you know nine to thirteen year old, and 13 is when everything kicked off yeah, drugs, mental health and all that, but um.
Speaker 1:In writing. I've always loved music, always, and mostly heavier bands. So what I would do was I would listen to the music because I knew the words right. I've listened to these songs thousands of times. I would listen to the music and I would write my own lyrics. The first song I ever wrote was titled Rage, so you know it really delves into that young teenage sort of anger that young men walk around with. But that was the first time that I'd actually sat down and thought that I'm going to try and write something and I continued to do it. So I've got a very disgusting handwritten book of lyrics, or the way I see it, is poetry. That's what I think lyrics are Of these songs written out complete plagiarise of my favourite band's music and my own words over the top.
Speaker 2:I want to sort of just go back just a tad. There was the little age where we sort of talked about drugs and mental health. The passing of Dad, that's a lot, that's heavy. There was a lot there in in a short space and crucial time. Yeah, my eldest daughter is 13. To think of that impact of those things. Do you want to take me back and yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So, um, you know, it's just glimpses of of the funeral, like I remember putting my my hand on his forehead, remember how cold he was, and then after that it was, yeah, it was heavy. After that, um, again, a removal from culture. And when I say removal from culture, it's nothing on my mother, it's just a single mother trying to do, trying to do what they have to do. And then, from about the age of 12, actually I know I said 13 before, but it was about 12 when you said you wanted to go deep, so let's go deep. I actually lost my virginity when I was 12, which is, you know, I tell people that and they whoa and then discovered the joy of cigarettes at 14.
Speaker 1:And then from that it was started with pot, you know weed and then you know, and obviously not proud of this and not trying to find some validation, whatever word, but it's probably easy for me to tell you the drugs I have not done as opposed to the ones I have done. And yeah, so the times between 12 and let's go 16. Actually, let's go 17. 12 and 17 is a big blur of lots of drugs. Um, a very bad home environment. Uh, my mother got with a new partner. He was, you know, abusive, alcoholic. Um, then I started drinking and that was amazing.
Speaker 1:Not really, and I don't understand at the time it was escapism, yeah, to take you away from those environments, yeah you know, it started out going to my friend's place and, you know, having a couple of billies too I need this every day and it was about 15, 16 when things came to a head, because that was my first real suicide attempt, and it wasn't back in the the uh cutting wrist days of you know I want to kill myself. It was I am done with this shit and tried it. And then, uh, what actually happened was the rope broke. So you want to call that my father looking over me, you want to call that divine intervention, call, call it what you will. It just wasn't meant to be, apparently.
Speaker 2:And then a long, long road to living with myself. Speaking about this topic is so important. Yeah, I don't want to make this about me. I remember in social media there was these push-up challenges for mental health and people would do push-up challenges and they felt like that was their way of. I'm going to do a push-up challenge to talk about mental health.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I'm like why don't you just talk about mental health For real, you know, talk about those things, share your story. So this not in context is great, we're talking about this. That time, when you did attempt suicide, you said that was the first time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So what happened was that was the most serious time. And then you know I tried to hang myself. And then, you know, try to hang myself. And then I actually went to the mental health ward for two weeks, two or three weeks, involuntary. And you know, that's when you put yourself into perspective, when you say, hey, I might have it bad, but someone's always worse off than you, and yeah, and then I got out of there and went back to the toxic relationship, went back to the drugs and drinkers, you know as what happens. And then, um, I was just telling people I'm gonna do it again, I'm going to do it and, um, that's a very scary notion, is especially for someone like myself. In particular, family members they know that Josh has done it once and he had a plan to do it. So is there a way, is there a possibility that it's going to happen again? And it's the same for everyone else.
Speaker 2:And at that point in time, after the first attempt, were there any family members or friends that took the courage to have a conversation with you about it, or everyone kind of just? I'm here to support you but didn't want to talk about that?
Speaker 1:I'm sure there was, but I can't quite remember. I can't quite remember sitting down with uncle so-and-so, auntie so-and-so and doing this. I remember sitting down with.
Speaker 2:Uncle so-and-so, aunty so-and-so. And doing this, do you think there was something that could have been said? To assist, prevent first, and then what would you say?
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm with you. I don't think so. I don't think so. Um, I was a very I've always been a bit of a loner, you know, not a big friend person.
Speaker 1:I don't really like people too much um but uh, you know, I didn't have a really big friend group and, um, if I, as I sit here today, could go back to that guy, that would be what I would say, whether it was pre-attempt or post-attempt. You are strong enough to get through this and you do not need substances. Just stop it all. You can live without it, because I have In my later life, you know like right now, today's a Saturday, tomorrow is Sunday. Tomorrow will be six weeks without booze the longest I've ever gone in my life. Amazing, yeah.
Speaker 2:But it's hard, it's hard, it's fucking really hard. It's not one substance, it's not, it's multiple substances doing certain things emotionally, spiritually. Yeah, companionship, you know, it's a sure thing yeah, yeah, way out, yeah.
Speaker 1:And when I say substances, especially now in 2025, you know I'm not just talking about drugs and alcohol, talking about, uh, the information that I was consuming. Yes, the people I was hanging around. I know I said I didn't have a lot of friends, but I sort of hung around with a lot of people and they were just not good In the same.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, they were in the same sort of. They were people I did drugs with, yes, and if anyone has been through such a period, those people aren't your friends. You might have one good relationship, one that lasts.
Speaker 2:One that lasts.
Speaker 1:One that lasts. But those people are. They're a manifestation of the life you're living, and if you're living a life of getting on the booze, getting on whatever, these people that hang around that same stuff are going to hang around you.
Speaker 2:Is it safe to say that storytelling and writing may have saved your life?
Speaker 1:I think so. I'm always up in my head always, and it really helped getting it out. As I said, the first poem or the song I wrote was called Rage. I'll sit back now and laugh at it Poxy little 16-year-old, 15-year-old, whatever. It was very angry at the world.
Speaker 1:But that's a particular way to get that emotion out, no matter how cliche it is, no matter how silly it might sound, no matter how much I'd cringe and shake my head when I go back and read it. But that was an avenue to get that emotion out. So, when it comes to actually taking it seriously and coming up with a story, it's a way for the writer me to harness emotion and emotion or a thematic trope, I guess and put that through this story and you know you might think that, oh, this will make a great story, the market wants it, people want to hear this story. But fuck all that Like, write it for you. If your story is a vulnerable story of a 16-year-old taking his own life, trying to take his own life and living the steps after that, just write it.
Speaker 2:And that writing for. Let's just say there's some younger people that might watch this episode. They might draw, they might paint, they might run. Don't stop doing that, yeah, even though some people might look at it as, oh, you know, yeah, like the little art thing on the side, but that's saving their life, that's giving them purpose yeah so you know, for for younger people or a parent that might want to share parts of this, because we are touching on sensitive issues.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think this is exactly where we need to be sitting, because people don't talk about this enough. Younger people what's some quick advice that we could give to them about artistic expression and the importance that has to do with mental health?
Speaker 1:To the people who, whether it's writing, dancing, drawing, skating, whatever your avenue is, if you're in a shit situation and it makes you feel better or it brings those emotions up and it's an avenue, you can let it out, continue to do it. It doesn't matter if people tell you, oh, you're studying writing, can you make a living off that. It doesn't matter if you've got homework to do and you're out skating. It doesn't matter if you like dancing but you're not very good at it. If it's an avenue that assists you with the thoughts and feelings you're having go down it. You do this for yourself. You do art for yourself first, not for people outside.
Speaker 2:Where are you at now with processing those times of your life? Where are you at in your healing journey that I feel that we all go through? And with dad? Where are you at with those things today?
Speaker 1:I can't really answer that. I'm just one foot in front of the other.
Speaker 2:And that's an incredible strategy.
Speaker 1:And it's a credible strategy. And when I say that it's not, I'm depressed. I'm still thinking about this stuff. It's literally just going actually to answer it. I've always felt like I'm running away from things in my life because I'm running towards something, even if I don't know what that thing is. You know, I was running away from the emotions, the, the bad family environment, the toxic relationships with the drugs, drugs. I was running away from that and that was my vessel to get to somewhere. So that's pretty much what it is. It's understanding how impactful these things are to other people, like my mother, like my family, like my friends. And it's difficult because it's about me and I hate being the center of attention. So, uh, it's sort of like I have to take myself out and say, hey, this happened to that person. It's pretty fucking hardcore. Maybe if I can share that story, other people will see it and go. I can relate to that, that's happened to me and they can find a piece of a little safe haven to start with.
Speaker 2:People need to know they're not alone.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's easy to feel like you're alone in those times, even though if you take yourself out of that situation, you know you're not alone, but it feels like you are. So I think it's important you speaking your truth to empower those people, because we've all felt it in one way or another.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, and you know there's that saying like the worst thing that's ever happened to you is the worst thing that's ever happened to you. So you know I say suicide, tamped and toxic, blah, blah, blah, drug and everything. There's people out there who have had it way worse than I have, but I haven't experienced that. I don't know what it's like to have sexual assault. I don't know what it's like to be kidnapped. I don't know what it's like to be taken away from my family. But, as you said, this is my truth and if I can write my truth, if I tell my truth through my lens, maybe the hypothetical 16 year old josh out there will see it and go okay, I'm going through this part.
Speaker 2:I do not want to go through the rest let's talk about your work, um working with mob and um sort of what that brings to you.
Speaker 1:So Screen Queensland was a very, very important job. It was a little bit more than a job to me at the start, and the reason why it was it was the first reconnection I had with my culture. Before then it was warehouse jobs. I was a chef. I was a chef for almost 10 years, but then I started working at SQ in 2021. Yeah, and that was the first big reconnection with my community that I had had since my father died maybe, and it was just good to be around Aboriginal people Like I remember my manager, to start with. His name was Douglas Watkin. You know him well, old Dougie Talking to him and you know working with him. I hadn't heard the word gammon for years, you know, and just to hear that it's like out, he is just going.
Speaker 1:Yeah, look at, there's a black follow around yeah, I always felt my position was a position of privilege, not power, and I think it's very important that more people heed that message part of this podcast is for people to speak their truth.
Speaker 2:The new New Dreaming podcast is about truth-telling, empowering others by telling their story. There's some people out there that have stories in their mind they can't get started. Let's talk about some practical advice for writers to get started, even if it's that first page.
Speaker 1:Make it as simple as possible, so I use Taken the Taken films, liam.
Speaker 2:Neeson.
Speaker 1:Liam Neeson. They're always easy. You know, and this is an example of simplifying such a huge sort of story Ex-Special Forces guy has to rescue his daughter when she's been kidnapped by human traffickers. So if you can get your story, if you can just simplify it in one sentence, it's very hard to do, but if you can just simplify in one sentence, it's very hard to do, but if you can just try and do that, I guarantee you you will have the big picture so it is the perfecting of the elevator pitch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I literally have. And the time you get in an elevator to the top floor you have to pitch your idea to someone, get really good at that Clarity and then, once you get that, you can.
Speaker 1:That's a better word, actually Clarity. If you can clarify your story, it doesn't matter how many elements it has, it doesn't matter how many peaks and valleys your story has, if you get clarity on it. Yeah, so that's my advice If you can get as clear as it can it's a story about something or someone struggling with this to arrive at this outcome, got it very quickly.
Speaker 2:Watched a youtube video, watched many youtube videos on writing and they talked about the elevator pitch and there was black clansmen and they were like this is how they summed up their movie black man infiltrates KKK Mic drop. How quick do you think it is? Or how important do you think it is to get friends and family involved in your writing process? At what point should you bring other people in? Because we are artists and we are our biggest critics and it's a place of vulnerability usually to write so it's like I don't want to show anyone because I'm yeah. When should you get someone involved and how important is it to get other people involved in that creative process?
Speaker 1:I think it comes in steps. If you have a friendship, like you and I have, and I can see you next weekend. Oh, I started this. 10 pages. It's this. It's that. That's a different story. If you want people, if you are so attached to this script and you want feedback and you want people to know that it exists, I'd honestly wait until you're about 50 pages in, or 50% for a short film, or 50% for a short film, because there you've got a big bulk of the story in there and now it's not going to be perfect.
Speaker 1:That's one thing people have to understand is good writing is rewriting, because in that you're going to have a little bit of tone, you're going to have your voice and you're more than likely going to know what the story is or what it's building to. Sure I I think I think getting people in too early might cloud the writer's progression of the script. Because if I have three pages, 10 pages, and I show it to you and you go, oh, sort it sort of sucks, then oh, you know, everything I wanted to write in the rest of the script is going to suck too, whereas if I get you in at 50 pages you might say, oh, this part's not working, this is great. So, rather than the 10 pages being all that, your audience, all that, your friends, I guess, can read, they've got a massive bulk of 50 pages and they can say now I see the story.
Speaker 2:So yeah, take advice, use it as an offering, but just know that it doesn't mean your work is crap.
Speaker 1:Right, it's subjective.
Speaker 2:We've had writer's rooms where you used to rip apart my stuff. Yep, I go away, have a cry. Yeah, my ego needs a cry and I don't like it immediately, but then I stop and I simmer and I go. Yeah, that is weak. Are you attacking me, josh? Yeah, I'm being attacked right now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what are you going to do? No, but you know.
Speaker 2:I think it is important that it is the right people that care about you and respect your authentic voice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's going to take you a while to find these people and you and, and like you said, you can't if. If david doesn't like my story, it doesn't mean it's a shit story. It might hurt me and go have a cry because I love this story. But yeah, you've sort of got to have a thick skin to take feedback and it took me years to grow it like I remember film school, I was like no, this is lecturer.
Speaker 1:I'm like no, you don't know what you're on about. It's like pull your head out and learn from these people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like to operate in. If I make a note for someone, it has to have an offering. Yeah, because if you can just say this needs to be stronger. And if you can't conceive an offering, yeah, because if you can just say this needs to be stronger, and if you can't conceive an offering, you don't understand it enough to have an opinion.
Speaker 2:If you can't have an opinion with an offering for every single note, maybe you're not the best person for the writer, because I can say this feels a bit weak, but if I can't put my finger on why, why?
Speaker 2:I'm not giving you an offering yeah, it's kind of like that's something that I have to do for myself. Um, so for someone that's out there writing, they've got some feedback. They don't like it. What's a way to help writers check their ego to understand that these people are just trying to help push the story forward? Some humility checks, yeah, right. Yeah, to keep you moving, because it's easy to get discouraged and get down and go. Oh, f the industry I'm not applying for any more.
Speaker 1:I said no, it's hard, this industry is hard, it's very hard, and you will get knocked back more times than you will get picked up, picked up. If you get negative feedback, you don't then just write the opposite of the negative feedback to sort of go up yours to the person who gave you that negative feedback. No, you just keep going and either take it on board or don't, because that's what the constructive criticism is. In fact, it's probably harder to have a good script of everyone around you going this is great, because then you're like cool, I don't have to do anything.
Speaker 2:I don't have to do anything with it what does the future look like for mr josh beckett?
Speaker 1:I don't know, trying to keep it together, um, continuously, writing continuously. Uh, you know, this industry is all about making contacts and people take that out of perspective too much. It's like you've got to go to every event, you've got to like every single status, you've got to do this, you've got to do that, yes and no. You've got to go to these things and you will know if the investment that I put into David or into this person is going to is the right thing for you to do. But to answer your question, you know I'll finish the script of my teenage years, of my youth. I will finish that in the next few years. I'll probably finish the uh period piece and then hopefully take that to second draft phase and, uh, just keep writing in my notebook of, uh, my poetry, because that's one thing I want to say. Um, first of all, I don't think writer's block exists.
Speaker 2:Explain explain, explain. This is for people out there so I don't think it exists.
Speaker 1:I think you get stuck in scripts 100%. I'm stuck right now in one. I think you get stuck and I think that you try and write and you go. This is horrible. I have had a blockage. No, what you're having. There is a difficult moment in that script. So go to another one. Go write poetry, Go write longhand and if you don't know what longhand is, that's writing with your hand Go and write a play. Go and write a stage play. Continuously write, and it doesn't matter what format and it doesn't matter how bad it is. I have a notebook there of sonnets that Shakespeare would write, and it doesn't matter what format and it doesn't matter how bad it is. I have a notebook there of sonnets that Shakespeare would turn in his grave. They're horrible, but they are a way for me to keep writing and get those emotions out and look at the page and go I've produced something. It might be shit, but it's not for people to see.
Speaker 2:So we talked about one step forward as a strategy and River your son. Obviously we think bigger for our children. We plan for them. But back to healing. Where is Josh at with healing, from what we spoke about in the past?
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, that is pretty good. It's pretty stable these days. You know, it's got a lot to live for. And should I get back into those feelings of carrying around this pit of sadness or this feeling of abandonment of everything? It honestly does. Just help me, self-centered, you know. Get myself back to center, because that is the only place where things make sense. Where am I now? Okay, I might be feeling a bit shit, but I'm still putting one step in front of the other, one foot in front of the other, and just trying to keep it together.
Speaker 2:That feeling that you said that you're carrying around. How long has that feeling been there as of late?
Speaker 1:As of late, probably about three months, In a script they call that the dark night of the soul.
Speaker 2:Now people out there that are going through a tough time, whether it's writer's block, whether it's emotional, mental health. Let's just talk about positive outlets. It doesn't have to be creative, it can be sports, it can be just catching up with that one friend that listens, you know. Let's shed some light on that, the importance of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And the importance is having people to connect with and, as I said, I mean I I've been alone most of my life. So it's like, when you do find that person who is willing to listen, it is just phenomenal. And if you do not have friends which a lot of people don't you have to find something that, as I mentioned before, you have to find something that, as I mentioned before, you have to find something that centers yourself and that could be a walk on the beach, that could be sitting down in a coffee shop taking notes, it could just be, you know, going for a walk in nature. But one thing you cannot do on your healing journey is remain by yourself.
Speaker 2:What do they say? Happiness is an inside job.
Speaker 1:Happiness is an inside job and you know we don't have to walk around and be all high and mighty, you know we just have to function.
Speaker 2:And then those people that are alone. I guess it's very important to make sure who you are following, the content you're absorbing, yeah who you were following the content, you're absorbing the algorithm which, in effect, is reflective by what you search for. Yes, you click on what you look at. Feed the algorithm with positivity, creativity outlets, positive stuff because kids social media, it's easy to follow fake leaders.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, and that's actually a really good point. When you're, when you're feeling down, it's very easy, it's very easy and you almost want to continue to go down that hole. And if you look at one thing on your algorithm algorithm, it's you're going to show more and it's going to. It's almost like a positive feedback loop of negativity. It's like, hey, I want this, yeah, yeah, but this is just so shit. And then when you said, fill it with positivity. This isn't puppies and cats and little babies doing funny things, it's that little bit of light that you have, which we all do, even when we're in those shithouse situations. The music, the music. I delve into music, so I can the music. I dove into music. I can't sing, I can't play an instrument, but it was the avenue that helped. And then you build from that and people can find a way.
Speaker 2:Are you sure I'm not speaking to a motivational speaker right now? Maybe, brother. Thank you for your time. You're good. Thank you for your time, we're good, thank you for your vulnerability and, uh, we'll have to reconnect. Sounds good, amazing. Thanks, man, thanks.