The New Dreaming Podcast
The New Dreaming is more than just a podcast - it’s a truth-telling movement. A space for real, meaningful conversations that empower, challenge and inspire. Through the voices of those who have broken barriers, found their purpose and reclaimed their stories, - we uncover the truths that shape who we are.
For those ready to listen, learn and be part of something bigger - each episode is a step towards truth, healing and collective empowerment.
The New Dreaming Podcast
Dennis' Journey From Boxing Rings To Building Community & Home Ownership
A tough childhood. A pair of gloves. A phone call that changed everything.
Dennis joins us to share a raw, generous story about turning pain into purpose- first through boxing, then through community service and finally through the steady courage of buying a home for his family. He opens up about growing up in public housing, feeling like an outsider, and finding structure at a local gym where uncles and aunties set a standard that kept him clean and focused. Titles and medals followed, but so did a deeper lesson: kids can tell the difference between someone who has walked the road and someone who only studied the map.
We dig into his role as a Community Education Counselor supporting Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander families - removing barriers to health, housing and school attendance - and the simple, human tools that work: being present, asking “Do you need a hug?” and showing kids what’s possible through representation. Dennis’ mindset is a masterclass in agency. He shows how tiny choices add up, from inventing games with nothing but socks to navigating IBA seminars, pre-approval and the path from rent stress to keys in hand. The result isn’t just property; it’s dignity, stability and the freedom to plan the next step instead of surviving the next week.
We also sit with men’s mental health: the quiet after the spotlight, the myth that strong men don’t cry and the healing in speaking up, reconnecting with mob, and grounding on country. Dennis shares his next move - teaching Food Tech and HPE while finishing his degree - to reach kids earlier and offer a different arc. He closes with a call to claim culture and ancestors’ stories: you’re not half anything, you’re whole and you have an obligation to know who you come from.
Come for the boxing yarns, stay for the blueprint on choice, culture and never stopping the dream. If this resonated, follow, share with a mate who needs it, and leave a review to help more listeners find these modern day yarns.
Well uh Dennis, welcome to the podcast. Thank you.
SPEAKER_02:Let's start with the name, mob, and where you're from.
SPEAKER_01:Uh yep, my name's Dennis. I am uh Radri Darog background, so down New South Wales there, freshwater fella. Um from originally from Nunarwell Country, so I grew up off country um and now living up here, sunny Queensland. Beautiful.
SPEAKER_02:Now um you've been doing some great work in the community. Can you let us know about your current position and and your job title?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so I'm a community education counselor for Southeast Region Department of Education. Um, and I guess the easiest way to explain what I do is I remove barriers for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander families, um, whatever that may be. Um it could be accessing medical diagnosis, it could be um support with uh at risk for homelessness, it could be food insecurities, could be anything. Yeah, it's pretty pretty good role.
SPEAKER_02:Now, I'm gonna make an assumption here that a lot of what you do you're so good at because of your lived experience.
SPEAKER_01:Yep. Um, yeah, and I think families and kids especially, kids they know when they're talking to someone, they're pretty quick at working it out, whether you um grew up tough or whether you've read a book. You know, so they know if you've just been to uni or if if you struggled as well. Kids are kids are switched on, man, they they know everything. And our kids are very, very they're on.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, a hundred percent. They can read, read very well spiritually as well. Yep.
SPEAKER_01:Survival, you know, they've gotta they're gonna learn to adapt.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yeah. Now some of those those tougher things that our mob and our children are facing. Um, do you want to share some of those and maybe share some of your lived experience maybe growing up, you know, could be some primary years, high school years, to share a bit of your story for us?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, man. So um I think it's a very different world now to when I grew up. I grew up back in the 1900s, you know. So yeah, I'm getting bit of a dinosaur these days, but um yeah, it was tough growing up. I've got um through three brothers, two sisters, had to think about it. Um, three brothers, two sisters. We grew up in a little three-bedroom home. Um, my mum and my stepdad owned their home. Um, and it was in a pocket that everyone around us was public housing. So um back when they would put streets and streets and streets of public housing, um, the shops there today, the local shopping center that's been boarded up for the last couple of years, um, there's not a lot to them. Um was what I'd describe as a normal childhood. So, you know, you don't really know any better. Um, and growing up, we we didn't have a lot, we weren't a rich family at all. Um, I probably saw and went through more before the age of ten than most kids will see through their lifetime. Um which is hard thinking back on it now. Um but the I mean the time now it is very different. Every kid's got a phone. You know, they if they want something, they can get it. It's at their fingertips, and um nothing worth having is is at your fingertips, you know, we've got to work for things in life, and um kids these days just don't have to. They you know they've got it, they've got it so easy. Um you know, and in that itself, they struggle, you know, they struggle with um work ethic and and a lot of different various things as well. So yeah, different time, man, different time. Um for sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And now when you're a young man, let's just go teenage years, you know, let's go preteen, maybe 10 to 15. There are any experiences in your life that that really shaped who you are and why the work you're doing now is so important. Yeah, man, what a um loaded question. This may have had something to do with the fact that we had a bit of a yarn prior to this. So any context, we can share more as we go on.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Um it was tough, man. So my parents split when I was real little. Real little fella, and um, and I still remember it. And I I remember having a conversation with my mum, and I told her that I remembered, and she said, There's no way you could remember that far. You can't you can't remember. And I just scrubbed the layout of the house, and one thing stuck with me was um I had chicken pox and she was putting calamine lotion on me, and the toaster caught fire, and she threw it out the back. And um I explained like I told mum that that situation and she just burst out crying. She just couldn't believe I remembered that. And um, yeah, I remember when my dad left, um mum remarried to my stepdad, who I get along with now. He's yeah, he's a great fella, great with my kids, but um it was a very difficult time growing up, you know. I my dad, I'd see him every second weekend. Um and he told me that I didn't have to really listen or do what my stepdad would say, um, or at least that's the message I got. And so I'd make life really difficult for myself.
SPEAKER_00:Um Yeah. Through my teenage years I was a pretty angry kid.
SPEAKER_01:I um wasn't um no, I lost lost it a bit there. Um I wasn't a happy kid. Um I remember laying in bed I would have been maybe ten years old, at a Disman, and I was listening to heavy metal and Metallica, and I remember looking out my window and I was thinking that I'd been given to the wrong family, and my family's there'll be a knock at the door one day and they'll tell me, you know, this is this is your real family. I didn't fit in, I didn't feel like I belonged, which is horrible, man. For a kid like that, that's horrible feeling. Um yeah. So I had a rough start. I got bullied a lot at school as a kid. Couldn't tell you why. Just kids are kids can be cruel. Um but when I was 15, my dad took me to um Bullman Allah, Oval, and they had a boxing gym there down the back. And I wanted to learn boxing. I was a talented footy player, but wanted to wanted to box, and um mate, life changed from then on. Yeah, definitely put me on a different trajectory in my life. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:You would have been naturally talented, and with your experiences, did you find, you know, um the minute you picked it up was a a a very good outlet for you to express decompress.
SPEAKER_01:It was addiction. Um every day I was at the gym. Every day I was at the gym, and I remember I'd get there early, um, and I didn't know at the time, like I didn't have a good understanding of it. I'd be 14, 15, walking in, and there's all these old fellas sitting around the table having afternoon tea, and they'd feed me up there at Bullmanella, and um that's all the uncles and aunties there, and we'd have some good yarns, and one of the things that they'd said was you drink or you smoke and you're out of the gym. You can't box. Um, so I've never had a cigarette in my life. Just side that it stinks, but um, you know, I was so fearful that that had happened, and so I'd go and box, and um I just yeah, couldn't get enough. Um I remember I've actually just reconnected with the fellow I had my first fight with young Max and Griffith down in New South Wales there, and um it was my first fight, and we had a we had a mate, barn burner of a fight, and I just finally allowed to throw them, and um so I won four of my first five, including um a state title. So there was no one in my weight division at 81 kilos, so um you know I was a pretty light fella, so I drank a whole bunch of water and weighed in with my pockets full and weighed in at about 81 and a half, and I fought at the 91 kilo division for state title, and um won my first state title, and uh yeah, it went on from there. I ended up winning a couple of those and the following year I won um a silver medal at the Nationals. So in my second year of boxing got a silver, and I was gutted, mate. I wanted to walk away. Um, but then I went on to win two back-to-back gold medals and be this young fella, young little skinny fella that you know didn't look much. Um that could throw hands was was was cool. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Now some of the young young kids that you may be working with, are you noticing you've seen some similarities and you can help mentor them through through maybe some some harder times at the point?
SPEAKER_01:100%. Um these kids that you can only be what you can see, you know, and and and if you don't know you can be anything better, um, why would you? Why would you try? Um and you know, so I I love in the way that I've gone about landing my position that I'm in now, I you know, the these kids are able to sort of wake up and see what what's in front of them, what they can be, and um being able to dream, that's the thing for these kids, being able to dream. That can be everything. We got we got black doctors and deans of universities and teachers and man, we've got all this stuff, but if you don't know, why would you shoot for that?
SPEAKER_02:That's right. And in the 90s we didn't see any of that. That's it. Nothing. First generation business owners and homeowners, a lot of us are now, in 2025. So um now you've had some um some awards with your work. Do you want to share about that?
SPEAKER_01:And and I've had a couple, um couple of little ones. I think back to backs. A couple of back to backs, yeah. So I think um I'm more proud of like what I'm doing now than my sporting career. I went on to have nearly a hundred fights and win professional titles and all of that sort of stuff, and those awards aren't even out. Um, you know, in 2021, 2021, I won a um NADOC Sports Person of the Year Award. So my career was well and truly over by that stage. It was um just from the work I was doing in community coaching. Um, I was awarded a Sports Person of the Year award. So that was um a defining moment in I think this new trajectory that my life's on. Um really validated that you know community sees me and hears me and and values what I'm doing. Um, and then I've won 2022, three and four. Oh no, three, four, and five, twenty twenty-three, twenty twenty-four, twenty twenty-five, um, Aboriginal Torres Strait Islander community service awards through uni up here, um, which is pretty cool. Congrats. Yeah, thank you. But um, you know, I d I just find like I yeah, like it's just easy, man. It's just easy. I love doing it. It's not, it's not a chore, it's not boredom, it's yeah.
SPEAKER_02:You're just living your truth and and just addicted to it, just helping them, help them mob. Yeah. Is what you're doing with your work, is that helping heal parts of yourself?
SPEAKER_01:100%. Um, my motto and I it's it's you know, I'm at uni now for the fourth time. The first three times I hardly passed the subject, and um I'm just about to finish my degree, my first degree, and um the slogan every time I log in, I've changed it so it's custom, and it says, Um, be the person you needed when you're a kid. And that's what that's what I'm doing every day. Just being who I needed. And you know, it might be that you know, a year six boy comes up and sees me and he's upset, and I might he might need a hug. You know? And um sometimes when kids are blowing up or getting upset or dysregulated, I just will say to them, bro, do you need a hug? And you just watch their face change, it's like, how does this guy know?
SPEAKER_02:That's that's um that's affecting me hearing that. Thinking back as a young man, just some of the stuff. Man, I can't remember being hugged as a kid. Not one time. That's um and now for our young kids who who just don't have that support at home. What is some advice that you might just be able to give to to help someone watching? They may be 17, watching this podcast randomly, early twenties, but just general advice to help people through some of those tough times, and especially our young mob.
SPEAKER_01:It's never over. It's never over, and I'll offer often hear from kids, oh, I had no choice, I had to do that. And it's like, no. You always have a choice. Even if we're in prison, you know, we we still choose how we feel, what we do. You know, you might get told you can't leave your room. We choose whether we what we do in that room. I remember I just was having a yarn with my brother the other day, and um we're talking about being kids and sent to our room. We had nothing, we had no toys or nothing like that. And um we we come up with all these cool games, and uh one game was we were playing knee footy with a pair of socks. We had no ball. So we could sit there and feel sorry for ourselves and be sad, but we didn't, we turned it into a game, you know, and uh you might be sitting at home and having no iPad, no, you know, none of these cool things that you really want, but we choose how we feel. You know, we choose how we feel, we choose what we do next and what happens next, that's the most important thing. What happens next?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:That that's a huge piece of advice because yeah, it's you know, there's there's that saying about it's not what happened, it's it's how you react to it. But just acknowledging how you're feeling and trying to make decisions in the moment when your emotions are heightened as a young man. So some of the sporting outlets, you know, our mob are so talented at sport and um they all don't have access to the facilities or the training facilities, you know. You encourage them to sort of look for community outlets, free community and boxing gyms and pl there's plenty of people out there that want to help.
SPEAKER_01:It's about asking for it. And sometimes we might need a nudge in that direction. And a lot of my role is just linking people up. Yeah. I don't do like I don't do I don't feel I do a lot of um above and beyond things here, but I just help to link those people together. There's plenty of people that want to help.
SPEAKER_02:I'm sure you help a lot more by just being there and and just just being yourself and having that lived experience, you've got so much to offer. Yeah. You know, even just me sitting here yarning to you outside of this context, it's like it's nice to hear someone who's got parallels of similar experiences and not quite the positive ones. Um, because I I rarely talk to people that we've only touched the surface on a few things, but you know, just knowing that there was stuff that was happening and then, you know, we're not alone and and now here we are meeting for the first time, having a good yarn. We we had a yeah, a good yarn on the phone, and we said, uh, it'd be good if we were recording this podcast. Because we were on the phone.
SPEAKER_01:That's one thing I can do is I uh can have a chat and I love love having a yarn. And I think that comes back to being isolated as a kid, you know. I was I was isolated um from my friend groups, I was isolated from you know, doing the things that other kids were doing, and I've always felt different, and um I make up for it, you know. If there's half a chance to have a have a yak, or you know, one thing I I'm I always tell people I'm born with a gift of storytelling. Give me a boring story, I'll make it good. Yeah, yeah. And um, you know, that's actually a great, a great segue on here because um I've got so much to tell. And um I've always wanted to do an autobiography and write a book. But the ADHD in me, I've got stove, you know, things cooking on the stove, left, right, and centre, and um I've taken a little turn and I'm starting, I think, you know, I'm gonna start writing some kids' books. You know, like what can I you know, what's it what's something I can do to help kids and how do I reach more kids? And um, yeah, so I'm gonna start writing a little series of kids' books, and um they're just gonna be, I'm gonna pick something about I struggled with as a kid and what I did and what I should have done, you know? That book that you needed to read as a kid. Hundred percent, yeah, exactly what I needed to hear. And you know, even at school, like um I had a I had a teacher in year six and um he was real strict. I remember it to this day, clear as day. The kids that didn't do their hair, or you know, he'd get them up, he'd give them a dressing down, you wash your face, you do your hair every day, go to the bathroom. And you know, that stuck with me, and I thought everyone thought he was just a strict, you know, bit of a prick. But um, man, he's looking out for these kids. And I bumped into him working um as a youth worker at a school. I used to do a little bit at different schools and walked into the school staff room, and you know, this fellow was there he was standing there, and he's gonna shake my hand, and then he's just hugged me out of the blue. And um, we had a little bit of a yarn of, you know, me and your six, and he said, Yeah, I knew I knew you were struggling. And I thought, How man, like a hell I covered this up so good. He saw straight through it, you know. And it's funny because he's a fellow that, you know, he the the way he was with me, that stuck with me. That stuck with me. And now you're that person that trying to be. Trying to be, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Now some of your your personal um accomplishments. Um can we share that and maybe how you heard about IBA and talk about the personal accomplishment through through there?
SPEAKER_01:So I um me and my wife, we've been together, funnily enough, this month, it's 20 years for the second time. So we had a bit of a false start, we um we dated, and then um I went to the world championships when I was a kid, and you know, I was away for a little bit, and then when I've come back, we we got back together. So 20 years, and um life hasn't gone how we planned it to go, as it never does. Um so about 10 years ago, my wife, maybe a bit older, maybe a bit longer than that, she was diagnosed with um lupus and functional neurological disorder. Um, so it really kind of put a big strain financially on us. Um, my wife worked part-time um whilst trying to juggle, you know, three kids, and she's yeah, I'm forever in debt to her for what she's done for our family. And um she's an amazing woman. I wouldn't wouldn't change anything for the world. Um, but it's just limited my dream a little bit, or our dream. Um and I think as a as a man, you'd just in it's inbuilt that we want to provide for our kids, you know, food, housing, that's the two things that we look at, and and you know, we kind of decided that we're gonna rent for life. Like that's you know, we're gonna be stuck doing that. And I remember probably 18 months ago, I was I went and I was laying on my six-year-old at the times bed, and I just said to my wife, like, I'm just so stressed with with bills, and you know, I just don't know how we're gonna afford a house or afford rent in such a market that it is at the moment. And um anyway, I later on that day I was just scrolling through looking at some different information of what's going on and what things were out there for us, and and I came across a couple of videos just on pathways to home ownership and started watching that way, and um, you know, that's led to having a yarn with someone that's given me some good advice, and 12 months later we've been in our new place for ten months now, you know, like we own our home, like holy shit. Wow.
SPEAKER_02:That's yeah. So you've been thinking about how we're gonna move forward with with with our dream. And then you just sort of scrolling and then IBA popped up.
SPEAKER_01:So I I've um I'd heard about IBA. Um got some good friends, you know, that had let me know about it and I'd heard whispers and this and that, and um but yeah, one of my mates, he was always encouraging me, and I always used to think to myself, like, why me? Like, why is it so hard for me? Why can't I buy a house like everyone else? You know, we get this big, big dream of you know, owning your own home, and why can't I do it? Like I and I just you know it kind of snapped out of it a little bit, like, man, I can do it. I've done all these things against the odds, like why can't I do that? And um, yeah, like just it just starts with picking up the phone, asking a question. I sat in a few seminars on like on what it's like, what we have to do, where you know, how do we get things sorted? And um, you know, now it's funny because I used to look at people all the time and think that now people look at me and think, man, your wife is so lucky. That's the biggest flex. My wife gets the same and look after our kids. You know in your home. How crazy, eh? 2025, that's the flex. Yeah, you know, and people look at me and go, man, how on one wage are you buying a home? Like that's yeah, pinch myself every day. I think I probably will. Pinch myself every day, like I can't believe it.
SPEAKER_02:Can you take me back to that moment where you started maybe getting some information, maybe some seminars, and then something switched inside you and went, I can own my own home. Do you remember that feeling? And then and then the discussions you were having.
SPEAKER_01:I'll never forget it. My wife she's saying, Yeah, but then just like calm down. She's trying to calm me down. I'm like, no, no, it's happening. It's happening. She's like, Yeah, but just in case. And I'm like, no, no, it's happening. I'm doing it. We're doing it. Yeah. And then you would have been. I'd say to her all the time, I'd say, We're buying our own home, we're getting it. And she's like, Yeah, but then just I remember she said we'd we just gotta stop saying it because I'm I can't get excited, she said to me. She said, I can't get excited in case it doesn't go through. So now it's happening, we're getting one.
SPEAKER_00:You know? And then we finally got um pre-approval.
SPEAKER_01:I said, We've been pre-approved, Dale. That was the first hurdle, you know. The next one's trying to find one you can afford, right? So and uh originally they said um, you know, it was for a certain amount, and I was like, nah, I can afford more. Like, oh well, this and that, and we scrounge, and I said, no, no, this income, that income, you know, or this is what I need, and I worked with the guys over there, they were they're really good. Jade, she was really good. And I said, I have to, you just have to do it. And anyway, um we're paying, you know, nearly 1400 bucks a fortnight in rent for someone else's house. Like, that's crazy. And you know, my mates were like, Man, you pay that, my mortgage isn't that much. I'm thinking, my mortgage is not gonna be that much, like, why can't I get this loan? Why can't I do that? You know, we had good credit, we had no extra debts, we had nothing extra. Um, I'll never have a debt in my life other than a mortgage, no way. And um, yeah, to get that phone call, we were like, right, we're at a bullet of gate. We had lists of houses we're going to look at. We said, kids, get bored for the next few weekends because we're going, we're going look for houses. And um, you know, we you know we had ideals and things set in our mind and we're flexible and here we are, it's the best thing we've ever done. You know, like we're we're renovating at the moment. Off no money, we're doing it ourselves, like who cares? Bathrooms are getting done, or garage has been turned into a playroom. We laid floors a couple of weeks ago. Cost me a couple of hundred bucks of new flooring, like Smicky Mouse, you'd never know. My wife will love her throwing that in there, that word. Mickey Mouse, I've never said it more in my life. Love it. It's the first on the podcast.
SPEAKER_02:Mate, mate. Well you, huh? Pre-approval phone call. Then the next phone call. Yeah. What talk me through the phone call. I'll I'm I'm really enjoying hearing this.
SPEAKER_01:Um Oh man, I've got a phone call and I just someone said to me, Are you sitting down? And I said, Shut up. Don't say that to me, because you're gonna you're gonna set me up for failure. And they said, Oh, you you know, you've got it. And I just couldn't contain myself. I was at work, and I'd mate, the worst thing ever, I had to get through the next hour because it was in the afternoon. And now I left to school and I had some kids sitting in front of me. They're like, So, what's are you alright? I'm like, Stop, just don't talk to me. We're doing something good, let's finish this work.
SPEAKER_00:And um, yeah, man, I rang my wife.
SPEAKER_01:I saved it actually, I think I might have saved it until I got home. But I just, yeah, jumping out of my skin. And you know, we're close, me and my wife. I leave work, I ring her and I talk on the way home, or she's driving the kids home and yeah, we're we're pretty close, and I just yeah can't believe it, eh?
SPEAKER_02:What's her reaction?
SPEAKER_01:She just cried. She just cried. She's um Yeah. And you know, she's at the point now where we She's deciding what she wants to be next, you know. She's been very successful. She got a degree straight away and um did business and marketing. So she's done marketing for big shopping centres and um now after the kids, you know, kids take a toll on women. Um that that can't be underestimated at all. Um and she's at the stage where she's like, I don't know what I want to do next. And so she's got so much to look forward to. Um you know, and she owns a home. Like that's crazy. That's crazy. She's a full-time mum and she owns a home, and I feel like I'm, you know, I'm halfway there as a as a husband, as a dad. You know, it's just you just you can't beat that feeling. I still say to her every now and then, I'd say, Oh, we've got we're ready for that inspection next week. She's still always telling me, Don't say that, like she gets a heart attack when I say it to her. You know? Because you picked up the phone and made that call. Made a call, man. I asked for help. I didn't even ask for help, I just asked for information. You know, click on a link and there's still um there's people now here mobbed that'll message me and say, hey bros, like how how'd you do that? So mate, it's easy. Yeah, this is what I did. Pick up the phone, give them a call.
SPEAKER_02:How was that support, you know, during that process?
SPEAKER_01:And mate, I um yeah, I was pretty motivated. I was pretty motivated, so they were checking on me, saying I didn't need a hand. So no, no, I've got this, I'm good. Um, but knowing they were always there was good. From the IBA. And you know, they're the start, mate. Like that's the start. We can remortgage now if we want to, we can look at other houses. You know, I thought for for the first kind of six months, I was like, man, this is our forever home, because we'll never be able to buy another home. And now it's like, nah, stuff that, like, my house is worth more now. In ten months, it's worth it, it's gone up a hundred grand. Like, we might be able to upgrade and, you know, go to something different. You know, so it's just giving me choice. Which, you know, we're we're kind of conditioned to think that we don't have choice in a lot of things that happened in our life. You know, so we get used to that, and you get used to living week to week, and I don't live week to week anymore. You know, at any time there's like money in the bank. That's crazy. That's so foreign to me.
SPEAKER_02:That that is a foreign idea to for for a lot of mob. I'm not waiting till next payday.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I like how you said choice because then it goes back to what we were talking about earlier about choosing the way you feel. Yeah, man. Ultimately, a lot of the choices have led you here to a lot of people watching this feeling inspired that hey, I can I can make that call, I can own my own home.
SPEAKER_01:Can do it, man. And it's like what I tell these young kids at school, like, yeah, oh, this kid's saying stuff to stir you out, or they're upsetting me. It's like, no, no, you you're choosing to be upset by that. It's applying that same theory to life. Like I'm choosing, I'm choosing to feel like I've got no choice. I'm choosing to feel like I'm destined to be a renter forever. You know? I'm choosing to be in public housing.
SPEAKER_02:I can see why you're three times back to back.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:But that mindset, brother, you know, it's there. And this is what our our young kids need role models like you.
SPEAKER_01:Like, don't get me wrong, it's not my life has not been sunshine and rainbows. That's, you know, for sure. And I said to my wife just not long ago, I said, like, I'm really I keep pinching myself because I feel like I'm on the purple patch now. You know, I've gone through and I've done things around. When I went when I left school, I wanted to go into high school teaching. I wanted to be a high school teacher. I um didn't do good in year 12 at all. I listened to the wrong people and failed pretty much everything. I had to go back and resit my year 12. And um I ended up getting a good score and I got into uni. Um I did a degree I didn't really want to do. I thought I did, but I didn't. Um so I changed degrees and you know, I had three starts and hardly passed a subject. And like um bit of time's past now and I'm a bit more mature, a bit more ready to do it, and I really know what I want to do. And uni's easy. Uni's easy, man. Like I I want to do it. And the only thing that's changed is my mindset I just won't accept no.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I'll find a way.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Now it's early November, around the second today. It's November Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. Um I guess I just wanted to get your thoughts on how important it is to acknowledge and and support mental health for men for mob. There's any advice, any um resources that you could share just to bring awareness to that and how important it is.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Life's a roller coaster, man, eh?
SPEAKER_01:Like one minute you're fighting for you know, belts to wrap around your waist and your phone's ringing off the hook with people that you know and people that you haven't spoken to in 20 years, they're texting you, they're calling you, oh you're the man, you're this, you're that. And I walk away from the sport when I had my first daughter, my phone stopped ringing.
SPEAKER_00:No one's calling me, no one wants nothing.
SPEAKER_01:That's hard. It's hard, man. You know, one minute you're a superhero, and the next minute no one knows who you are. Um, that's a hard adjustment period, and I've still got from high school one person that I still talk to regularly. One person that I still talk to regularly, which is insane. You know, you think going through school, these are gonna be my friends forever, and it's not, and it changes, and um, but I think getting around mob is is really important and doing stuff you love. I know um Uncle Ray Nagus through his community connector and mob connector in uh in Logan there, runs a men's group, and they get around and they have a yarn and talking to people in similar situations and speaking up. You know, speaking up and and people are there to help, man. There's heaps of people that can help you, and yeah, unless they know that you're that you're hurting, they're never gonna um they're never gonna talk to you. Um but yeah, very important to be doing something that you love. Like I can't believe I go to work every day and I say I can't believe people pay me for this. That's that's yeah, man, that's insane. I get paid to do my job to help people, to make me feel better. You know, every day it makes me feel better. It's um yeah, it's crazy. But getting out, reconnecting, hug a tree, man. Like I say that and people laugh all the time. I'm like, no, no, really, take your shoes off, hug a tree. Like you'd be surprised how much better you feel.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Even the act of getting outside to take your shoes off. Some people just stay inside.
SPEAKER_01:Can't see what my little fella does, mate, like no clothes on, goes running in the water, loves it. Get dirty, who cares, have a shower. Starts raining, we go outside. You know, live a little.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And then it just comes back to that. Asking for help is okay. It's okay to ask for help.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know who invented that. Men don't feel pain or men don't get upset. Like who? I don't know where that's come from. But as a kid, I remember I, you know, I was talking to you earlier, I said, I um, yeah, I don't cry, don't be a sissy. Like, what does that mean? Don't be a girl, don't cry, don't do this, don't do that. Then you grow up thinking, well, I'm not allowed to be upset because that'll make me a girl.
SPEAKER_04:But I'm upset, so what's wrong with me? It's backwards, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01:Just let that sink in, eh? Like, what are we teaching our kids? I'm gonna teach my little fella don't cry, don't be upset because you're a girl. But he's still gonna cry and be upset. He's just gonna feel shit about it. You know, like that's why would we do that?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it it's so I can't. You know, little boys and they cry, and it's okay, come here, it's okay. And then one day it changes to they don't cry.
SPEAKER_01:Don't cry?
SPEAKER_02:Just like that, like you were a little boy and then all of a sudden you're not allowed to cry anymore.
SPEAKER_01:Suck it up, you'll be right. I tell my girls that as I give them a hug. Yeah, don't worry, you'll be alright. Because we're gonna be alright. But it's okay to cry.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I can't, man. I can't cry, I told you earlier. My kids always say to me, I remember my daughter when she saw me crying the last time. She like didn't know what to do.
SPEAKER_00:I remember her looking at me, she was like, What's happening? Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Needs to change. It's changing, but it's needs to change. The awareness is there.
SPEAKER_01:And then we you know, we got so many mob especially, but we've got young fellas that are taking their own lives, and we think, hang on, these kids growing up, then they're letter cry. Then they're letter feel sad. But they feel sad and they cry, and they feel like something's wrong with them. Mate, like, of course, they're you know, they're mixed up, they've got all these different feelings, they don't know what to think. It's just sad, man. It is.
SPEAKER_02:And I think us sharing spaces like this and just talking about it. Because, you know, society, I'm just making assumptions, would see us two men here and think strong men and all that, but you know, we we feel deeply and we get told that maybe we don't care sometimes when we care too much. Just it's a protective mechanism, and I think the most courageous thing is asking for help.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And that's the that's hard for some massively.
SPEAKER_01:And that ties in, you know, with you know, feeling like I can't provide my own home for my wife and my kids. Yeah, what's why am I so different? What's wrong with me? It's not that. It's just that I haven't asked the question. You know, there aren't pathways out there, there are ways it can happen.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:There's nothing special. I pay my mortgage like everyone else, you know. You know, it's just um knowing where to go, who to tell do, who to ask for help. You know, I'd never bought a house. How do you do that? Here's the steps now. You've done it. There it is. Love that. Yeah. And now I'm like, oh, how do I buy a second one? How do I buy something to leave for my kids?
SPEAKER_00:You know, I didn't work so hard for them to have nothing when I go. You know? It's empowering, brother.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Wanna run out and do another one now after talking about that?
SPEAKER_02:Why not? Why not? The next couple of years. What's that look like spiritually, socially, economically, career-wise? Just overarching how you anything you want to bring awareness to, something you're you're working towards.
SPEAKER_01:So I've been moving career-wise, I've been moving stages closer and closer and closer, you know. So um I started working as a youth worker and in youth detention centres, and I love that work. Um, love that work. I'm really fond memories, and I'll never forget, you know, working with kids that have gone from, you know, being in youth detention to having charges and to section 17s where there's no no recordings on their criminal history and back into work. Like that's amazing. Um, to just being a normal youth worker in a high school, to being a CEC now, to um literally just this week having the Queensland uh I think QCOT, I think it's called, so it's where you register as a teacher. They've just approved my permission to teach. So I'm not finished my degree, they've just approved it, so I can um start teaching in high school. Um, like man, one step closer to getting to these kids before they enter the system, you know, and showing them that there are ways out and pathways, and you know, that's where I'm at. So that's next year, that's where I'm at high school teaching. Um, working with mob, working with, you know, kids from the surrounding islands here and showing them that there's a way forward and yeah, man, career-wise, that's what we're looking at. Yeah. Feeling pretty inspired just listening to you. Yeah, mate, like being that person I needed when I was in high school. Telling me, nah, don't fail school. I remember I got I I remember telling people in year 12 who needs an education. Oh, that's crazy to look back at that now and I think like, who needs an education? Like I said that, those words came out of my mouth. You know, like knowledge is power, and the more you learn, the more you earn. That's how I live by that, and tell these kids every day I learn from them, I learn from everyone. Yeah, so high school teaching. Um, I wanted to be a chef when I was in primary school, funny. Wanted to be a chef, and then I wanted to be a teacher. So I got a job as a food science teacher. So I'll be doing food tech and HPE because you should always do something you love. But I was teaching kids how to cook. Um, it's amazing. How good's that? So good. Mickey Mouse. Life school, Mickey Mouse, that's right, eh? Teaching them, you know, like we cook butter chicken this week at school. Like, you know, I love I love teaching, I love making kangaroo curry for the kids, eh? They love it, they love it. Something different, kangaroo curry, yeah, man. So uh yeah, food tech HPE teacher. That's the near future. Maybe I think like I do have aspirin, maybe not as a principal, I'm not principal deputy principal, but maybe height of student services and looking after well-being and that sort of stuff. That that's interests me. Yeah. I'm here for it, really. It's hard, it's hard getting away from that. You know what I still I go home and I say to my wife, like, man, these kids at school today, like I don't worry for them, it's just like I it's really hard to let go knowing that they're going back home. And you know, I really struggled with that for a while, and I just have to think, I just think to myself, I'm just gonna make today the best day ever for these kids. You know, so they want to come to school. You know.
SPEAKER_02:And then in ten years' time they're on a podcast talking about that one teacher that stuck with them.
SPEAKER_01:Man, let's get him on, you know. Yeah. It's cool, eh? Full circle. Full circle, full circle.
SPEAKER_02:Now I want to close with something you you've said, you know knowledge is power. Earning, learning, learning, earning, and that earning can be financial, spiritual, family. Is there anything out there that you want to pass on? It could be a a quote about life, spirituality. Just some thoughts for mob about moving forward. Just wanna give you the floor and you know, let you share something to to close out our our great yarn, because you and I could probably yarn until these hard drives run out, I reckon. Probably. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I know I could.
SPEAKER_02:Oh yeah, I'm yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um I think the biggest thing I would say for mob for anyone out there, is connect with your mob. You know, I didn't I didn't know all the details I know now when I was fifteen. You know, you gotta search for that. And um find out who you are.
SPEAKER_01:And if you find out at 50 that you're a mob, that's amazing, you know, good on ya. But don't in five years' time have no more information. Go looking for it. You have an obligation to find out who your ancestors are. And I talk to kids all the time and they'll say, I'm I'm half Aboriginal, half Irish. No, you're not half anything. Which leg is Aboriginal? Which leg is Torres Strait Islander? You know, it doesn't change who your ancestors are. You might have one Aboriginal grandparent or great-grandparent, you're still Aboriginal. You're still mob. You still have an obligation to go and find out their story. And I get the stolen generations has really disrupted that passing on of knowledge. Um, but you can't stop trying, you can't just be satisfied with, you know, I think my great-granddaddies don't know their mob. You know, you need to understand, and you need to do it for your kids. Your kids need to understand where they're from. And, you know, that was a missing link for me is not having that information when I was, you know, ten and under when I really needed it. You know, it's it's um it's a journey. It's a journey, but um, you need to search. You need to search for it. And you know, we we're all connected. Someone knows. Someone knows, you know. My mother told me that her grandmother grew up in an orphanage and was raised by she was adopted at two. She was raised by uh missionaries, she told me. Little did I know, you know. Little did I know. You know, Wellington Mission down in New South Wales there. You know. Um she married a fella at 16 in Bathurst, an Aboriginal Irish railway worker. And um, yeah, I told my mum this stuff. Like, Mum, how did you not know? You know, and I understand that's her traumas and her and you know the way she was brought up. But I have an obligation to tell my kids. Yes that they need to know. And what they do with it is up to them. But never stop dreaming. You can be whatever you want to be. Look for those role models, they're out there. Just chase it, man. Never give up, you know? Never give up on them dreams.
SPEAKER_02:Never stop dreaming. That's it. That is there's a reason this is called. Mate, I've new dreams every day. Brother, that's it. It's never stop. Never stops. Modern day storytelling, modern day yarns. Brother, I appreciate your time. No worries. It's a good yarn. I'm I'm feeling really um I'm always focused, but I'm really feeling aligned after this. I'm I'm it's just reinforcing everything and and why I do it. And appreciate you, brother. Let's let's yarn more, eh? No worries, thanks.